the truth hurts.

Well, le deuchebag ultimo's fiancé sent me a text today. She asked if I was at work on Friday night.. the night he was in the club. I decided I better call her and explain. She said she looked on his email and saw that he looked up the address, so she wanted to know if that is where he ended up. 

I was caught.

Well.. actually, he was caught. Her tears ripped my heart open. I know that feeling of finding out that your man has lied to you, and that he was with other women. In all honesty, I know I couldn't tell her. I told her he did nothing inappropriate (white lie?) and that it just isn't what she thinks it is. Sometimes I feel that I am insensitive to people because I am used to people at work, and even when I pretend I care, I really just don't. 

It is different with this girl. She has such a good heart and is so sweet that knowing she was sad made me feel actually hurt for her. She just lost her grandmother a few weeks ago, that she is very close to, right before she failed a nursing core class for the second time and just got a dismissal letter from school. Yesterday I had promised her that I would write her a letter of recommendation as she appealed her dismissal, and today I feel that I am adding to her stress.

I know this is NOT my fault. Ultimately, it is her fiancé who decided to lie. 

But then.. why do I feel like I betrayed her?

week 1.

It is week one of a new term for school. I wish I could have started this blog when I first started nursing school.. when I had 12 hour shifts in the ICU followed by a complete shift of dancing. It was crazy days like that, followed by intense days of  nonstop studying that inspired me to start this blog. Trying to document my insane life of stripping, being a nursing student, mother, and fitting in a love life somewhere in the middle of that, all the while trying not to get fat (or failing any classes) has not been easy, especially because I have barely had enough time to shower, eat & sleep all in one day, let alone start a blog. 

Last term I ended my clinical round in the ICU. This is the first set of classes I have had in over a year where I don't have any clinicals in the hospital (yay for sleeping past 4am!) or any core nursing classes. I just have 2 classes that go towards my BSN (Bachelors of Science in Nursing), so basically easy, busy work type of classes. 

It feels so nice to just relax! I will still have plenty of work to do, but I can actually do things for myself, like sleep more than 4 hours a night & maybe actually try to have a social life? BSN classes are nowhere NEAR as difficult as RN classes with clinical rounds. We all get one of these terms at my school, and while no one else I know is having this easy term with me, I'm still going to take advantage of it.

With that said, I'm going to make an appointment for a hot stone massage before I start working on my first paper. I will leave you with this meme, which always has me laughing.