when she falls in love.

I had gotten to work last night and as soon as I changed into my black work panties & thigh highs, I immediately ran to the bathroom & threw up my dinner. I have been having a flare up of my gastritis these past few days, which pretty much means that it is extremely painful if I eat anything other than bland food. It also means that since it is Friday night and I'm not throwing a 102+ fever or dying, I will be having to work in that condition and pray that I don't get the need to vomit on stage. 

Glamorous, right? Strippers don't get paid sick days.

As I walked around sipping on my ginger ale, I saw the Hispanic lesbian girl from my last post walk in. I gave her a big hug when she got there, mostly because I get really happy when I see a pretty loyal customer in the club, and partly because I know it will make her feel special that I remember her. I told her I would be with her after she made herself comfortable with a drink, and I went about to do my rounds. 

I went on stage and saw a group of whit women, probably mid-forties, and a younger hot man sitting at the tip rail. I went over, grabbed one of the women's hands, and ran it alongside my ribcage to my hip as slow as I could with my hand gently guiding her. 

This move almost always guarantees me a dance with women. 

They were all pretty excited about that move and grabbed me after my set to ask for a dance. One of the blondes in the group asked,"Can you dance for all four of us?" to which I replied, "Four?! At the same time?". 

Pro tip: leave it at two customers receiving a dance at one time, max. It just can't be fun with anymore than that. 

She still wanted to go, so I escorted them to one of our larger dance rooms that is usually empty. She said it was the guys first time getting a lap dance and to please pay more attention to him. Now, usually I don't mind dancing for a man if women are watching, but I try to tone it down if I know the girlfriend or wife is accompanying him, and I make it more about her, regardless what she requests. Almost always, a girlfriend/wife will ask to pay more attention to the man, to which the man doesn't argue but it's obvious he is very uncomfortable during the whole thing. The woman always thinks she can handle it, but once she sees me rubbing my ass up on his groin, I know she will change her mind, so I just focus on the woman anyway. I asked if one of the three women was his wife and one of them said, "Nope, his wife is at home, but she doesn't know she is here. You can think of us three as his.. sister wives". I was pretty shocked. Mainly because I kind of believed her, as at one point or another I saw each one of them kissing him or grabbing his dick. 

Does this kind of thing exist in Los Angeles? 

I stopped caring and went about awkwardly dancing for all four of them at the same time. The women literally swooned. The oldest of the three, who was definitely approaching fifty, said,"Oh gosh, I think I am into women now", while the others awed over my ass and "naturally big" boobs. I ended up making a little over $100 off of them, which really isn't anything, but at least they were easy to please, albeit the boob grabbing was getting annoying, what with four sets of hands and all. While I was waiting for the oldest woman to go get more money out of the ATM (and hold back rolling my eyes at this man for having only $40 on him), one of the other women took my hand and scooted me over to the other side of the couch. 

"So.. do you umm.. see people outside of here? Because my husband and I really want to have someone watch us.. you know., have sex."

Well gosh, you couldn't be more awkward about it. 

I did everything I could to keep her talking about what else she liked in bed, but then she came back to it again.

"How much would you ..you know.. charge for that sort of thing?"

Seeing her fiddle with her hands and fumble over her words, I resisted being a smartass. I told her I simply don't do that type of thing, but if she came in with her husband, at least we could have a great VIP together. I could tell she was a little disappointed but seriously, she pretty much just offered to pay me for a sexual favor so.. 

Anyways, I went about the rest of my night. I chatted up a really cute Asian guy from Hong Kong. Naturally, like all Asian men do, he sat there and barely touched me, got a bunch of dances, tipped me well and was very polite. While I was at the ATM with him, up runs my lesbian girl. 

"Why didn't you come back to meeeee?! You don't like me!"

Um, wow.

Don't interrupt me EVER when I am obviously with a customer. This will always and forever make me angry. The guy was nice but so confused. I told her I was busy and I will be with her later. When I did go back to her, she said that another girl kept sitting with them and spending time with her, almost to try and make me jealous. 

Don't be a smart ass, don't be a smart ass. 

I really had to hold back. I figured I better take her for dances before I hear another complaint about me not paying attention to her, but sure enough all she did was complain that I wasn't hanging out with her and that in return I should kiss her. 

Gross. 

 

By the end of the night, I was on such a roll making money that I almost forgot about her. But sure enough, at almost the last song, I was hand in hand walking with a customer to a dance booth when we see the lesbian girl hanging over a booth calling me.

"Heeeeeey!!! Come heeeeere! You forgot about me again!" 

Oh my GOD this is a joke. 

I politely smiled and just kept walking. 

"Is that your girlfriend?", the customer asked me. I sighed and shook my head. "Oh, she fell in love, didn't she", he said with a laugh. And with that, I couldn't argue.

 I also couldn't help but think that as much as men can get on my last nerve, I could NEVER date a woman. I know not all women are the same but damn! Dealing with that neediness on a daily basis would make me go insane. Truly. The less available you make yourself, the more the other person will want to be around you, so why is this chick so on me wherever I go? Did she not get the memo? I said that after my last relationship I would switch teams but thank you lady. 

You reminded me why I stick to men. 

the cowardly lion.

I got to work just in time to hear our house mom say to the dressing room, "You have to come check out this guy making out with his hand!". I hurried to get dressed and check in to go see the hand licker. I thought there was no way she meant there was someone actually making out with his hand. But no. There he was in all his glory. The man fully making out with his hand sitting at the tip rail. 

Just when you think you have seen all the weird shit there is to possibly see in the club, that guy walks in.

Anyways, after doing my usual routine of talking to my Brit man at the bar and ordering a drink, my favorite doorman, big *Don, came up to let me know a guy from an NFL team (while I wont say which one, you can maybe take a guess from the title of this post) just came in for the third time this week and he wants me to talk to him. He said he had spent $2,000 on another girl earlier in the week (which night was this that I missed that?!), but he didn't want to talk to that girl tonight so I should go try. I love big Don to death. He is always helping me out, but damn did this one go south. 

It seemed all good when I went to introduce myself to him. He told me that he liked Hispanic girls, so he really liked this club, and ordered us a few drinks. Usually, if a man is asking you what you want to drink, it means they want you to stay, which is exactly what I did. I saw the manager give him a huge bag filled with singles and thought I finally caught a break. I am not normally the dancer that gets all of her money from stage, or from sitting with a customer all night, but every once in a while I get lucky. Damn, I couldn't have been more wrong about the situation. Eventually he was tipping a few other girls on stage really good, just taking a huge wad of cash and chucking it at them, not caring that most of it ended up on the floor. At that point I thought maybe I should leave, after all he hasn't given me so much as a dollar. But he went to go smoke outside and asked me to stay and watch his phone and a stack of singles, so I sat back and relaxed, expecting a long night of flattening out dollar bills and figuring out how much I should tip big Don for giving me this goldmine. When it was my turn to go on stage, I waited for it. Another girl he tipped had come over to us, whom I happen to very much like, so I thought for sure I'll get rained on, no question. Unfortunately, I left the stage with $6 (from my trusty Brit), and a very confused look on my face, I'm sure. 

Seriously .... 

I almost didn't go back, but our waitress convinced me to stay. 

"He likes girls to dance at his table and he will throw money. Don't worry".

Now, I know I can make decisions for myself, but this isn't a crazy concept. That happens a lot with guys that come in with singles, especially ones that have $3,000 in singles, as this guy did. So whether it was the patron shots kicking in, or just my determination to make money off of this guy I had been sitting with for over an hour without a single dollar already, I decided to listen to her and stay. A few more girls joined us, one he had tipped on stage and another girlfriend of mine. We started dancing and being in party mode at the table, and sure enough he started throwing money. LOTS of money. 

Fucking finally.

The next few things seemed to happen very fast. First, a few girl friends of his came into the club. They were thicker Hispanic girls with not so pretty of faces, and I could tell they did not really like me. Then, those girls asked me and my girlfriend to leave because "he didn't like us", supposedly. Then, I explained that I will leave, but I didn't come here to party, I came to work, and I need to collect my share of these tips first and I will leave them alone. And then, I fucking fell. I FELL. I fell on the money all over the ground and I was so embarrassed I didn't even want to get up. I laughed and told the other dancers that we should just get these tips and split them, but first I need to get up, collect my pride, and I will come back in a minute. By the time I got back, they said he refused them to give me any of the money because I waked away. 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

I had just had it. It was like I could not win. For this guy to try to be so fake and nice to me, trying to act like he wanted me there and end up not even letting me get MY tips was so fucked up. They told me they would give me my share at the end of the night, which they did as they pulled out what seemed like chump change from the entire trash bags of money they had. 

I haven't cried at work in a long time. But last night, I definitely did. I quietly walked into the bathroom, let some tears go, dried up my face and walked back out with a tougher skin than I had before.

I don't know what it was that made me feel so sad. We all get guys that don't like us, whether it is our face, or body, or maybe we look like an ex-girlfriend. Whatever it is, we have all had men that just don't like us. We deal with it. Maybe it was because he was the cowardly lion that couldn't do his own dirty work and asked those girls to tell me to leave, as if he hadn't been cool with me for the last hour and a half telling me "don't worry, I got you", making me feel like I can just be discarded at the drop of a hat. Whatever chord it struck in me, it really hit hard.

I chalked it up to him just being one of those guys who likes to cause drama in the club. He likes to be center of attention. After all, the girl he had spent $2,000 a few days ago was the same girl he shooed away before I sat down with him. And as soon as she left early that night (as I could hear in the dressing room, she was pretty upset too) he left as well, most likely in an attempt to make her jealous.

I ended up getting lucky with another guy later, so I didn't have a shitty night monetarily, thankfully. I feel much better today after sleeping off the emotions I had last night. 

He isn't the first NFL player I've had in the club, and he won't be the last. 

A tip to the cowardly lion? Try to focus on the plays you try to make that you have no business making and maybe if you weren't such an asshole on the field, as you are clearly in your regular life, and actually trusted your teammates, you would live to see more plays.