Through the years that I have been dancing, I have run into my fair share of boyfriends and husbands of girls I know. Thankfully, they have always been more like acquaintances on Facebook, etc., not requiring me to keep much of a straight face in person when I have to shake the hand of their significant other that just saw me in my bra and panties a few weeks prior.
Last night went quite well. I showed up a little late and did the usual routine. I chit chatted with a few close girlfriends, went to the bad to catch up with my one British customer who is nice company and will buy me a drink. As we sat there talking about nothing, I spy in the corner of my eye at the end of the bar: le douchebag ultimo. Complete with the enormous muscles popping out of his few sizes too small affliction shirt, cowboy hat, Jack Daniels tattoo & cheap beer in his hand, I knew who it was, even though I had to blink a few times to make sure I really wasn't seeing things. Could that really be my friend's.. fiance? Please...no. My really close girlfriend *Jessica from school and her new fiance are one of the only people at school who know I dance. With the exception of one other person, she is it. I trust her and she has such a good heart, I know there is no judgement. How this guy managed to get her is beyond me, but like I said, there is no judgement. So the fact that he sees me dancing actually isn't the problem, it is that I have to face her on a regular basis at school and now I know I must keep a secret from her. We met eyes and it took a few seconds for us to realize it was definitely the other person, but as his hand went up over his mouth, I figured I better go over and clear the air. He excused himself from chatting up the waitress (I tried to be hopeful that he wasn't trying anything there) and we awkwardly exchanged hugs. He told me that she had always said I worked at a club in LA, he just never knew it was that one. He explained that he had just got a new job working at an auto body shop not too far from the club, and he was with a bunch of coworkers just having a few beers.
"Do you..uh...have to go on stage to dance?"
"I just finished my set right now."
"Oh! Oh okay good. I just glanced over at who was dancing but only for a second (yeah buddy, because you were too busy flirting with the waitress by the bar) and I totally didn't realize it was you. Well listen..uh..."
"You don't have to say anything *Jonathan. I am not going to tell her I saw you here. We never saw each other, and this never happened. Okay?" I tried to smile and laugh to make light of the situation, and he took a deep breath as I rescued him from asking me to keep this a secret. "Just finish your drink, relax and have a good time", I said for good measure. He then proceeded to tell me about how much alcohol he has drank already since he got there, and how much, exactly to the dollar amount, he has spent without getting hammered. Side note: douchey guys love to tell you how much they drank and how much they spent. Also, it is a famous trait of the painfully cheap men as well. Then he told me that this could actually work out to my benefit, because he could throw me a bunch of money on stage to make me look good, as long as I gave it back (refer back to my last sentence). It was at this time that his buddies noticed we were spending time together and tried to wave us over.
"Bring her over here man! Come on!"
I had already noticed his friends checking me out before I had seen him, and since it was still pretty quiet in the club, I decided I could maybe make some money out of this deal. We walked over to his table and I sat down on one of the guys laps. I could tell they all liked me (there also were only a handful of girls there). I sat there and talked for a bit, but Jonathan refused to sit down, which would have been next to me as that was the only spot left, plus the guy I was with wasn't ready for a dance just yet, so I excused myself and said that I would be back in a few minutes. As I got up and walked away, Jonathan smacked my ass hard and said "Get out of here girl!", leaving me absolutely stunned. I kept walking away, but the look on my face must have been priceless. What the fuck was that about? I feel like he did it to maybe show off to his friends, but seriously what the hell? The next hour went from confused to downright annoyed with Jonathan. He kept bothering me with customers and trying to wave me over. Even my good British friend he managed to get me to walk away from by saying he had something important to tell me, but then once I got over to him he said he was just "saving me from that man". Later he puts a $20 in my bottom in front of his friends like he is a big baller, but once his friends aren't looking, he actually takes it back! HE TAKES IT BACK. He is just lucky that I ended up getting quite a few dances from his friends later on when he was busy chatting up the waitress again, or else I seriously might have made an issue about that.
I ended up sitting with this guy with a dollar sign tatted on his eylid who paid me just to sit with him, tipped me good on stage and was actually very nice to talk to (good money is always easy money). He would point out that the "dude in the cowboy hat" kept waving me over, but I just nodded at Jonathan from across the room and kept my eyes anywhere but over to him. Eventually him and his buddies left, at which point I waved a very enthusiastic good-bye, because truthfully I have never been happier to see money walk out of the club.
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